A Day in the Life Of Bakura
by Sweet Omega
Summary: Bakura's encounters with what we think are daily convinences. Today's adventure T.V.!!!!
1. Telemarketers

Starz- WOW!!! An idea for a new story!  
  
Bakura- Sooooo why are we here instead of Yami & Yugi?  
  
Ryou- And why are you calling him Bakura and me Ryou?  
  
Starz- Because it's a story about you two and I'm lazy so it's easier to write.  
  
Ryou & Bakura- Oh!  
  
Starz- I OWN NOTHING!!!!! Well, except the idea.  
  
""- talking  
  
//-Hikari to Yami  
  
/-Yami to Hikari  
  
~time  
  
*actions*  
  
^scene change^  
  
@flash back@  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A Day In the Life Of Bakura  
  
Chapter 1- The Telemarketers  
  
"Bakura!" Ryou yelled angrily throwing a pillow at his head.  
  
"WHAT!?!?!" Bakura answered. Angry that when he ignored Ryou he didn't go away.  
  
"Get up! I'm leaving in a few minutes and I'd like you to be up and watch the house!" (Trusting Bakura to watch the house....That doesn't sound right)   
  
"Ugh....Do I have to? Can't I just sleep in the ring?"  
  
"Yeah. But every time you do come with me we end up in trouble. Remember last time?"  
  
@ A few weeks earlier@  
  
"HEY YOU!?!?!" A large man in a security uniform yelled waving his night stick around. "GET BACK HERE!!!"  
  
*laughter* "You will never catch me!! I'm the greatest thief every!!!" Bakura yelled looking over his shoulder. And ran right into another guard. "Oh, crap...."  
  
@End of Flashback@  
  
"Yeah, yeah I remember....." he said rolling onto the floor. "So what do I hafta do?"  
  
"Just watch the house. I believe one of the neighbor girls is hiding a group of fan girls in her basement."  
  
"Fan girls?"  
  
"Never mind. Just hurry up so your really awake by the time I'm ready to go. I'll make you some coffee or something..." he said commenting on Bakura's slow movement.  
  
"Yeah, yeah...."  
  
~5 minutes later~ ^In the kitchen^  
  
Bakura had managed to get dressed and drag himself down the stairs. Ryou had put a cup of coffee on the table for him and was rushing about the house looking for part of his report. As soon a Bakura sat down the phone started ringing.  
  
*Ring, Ring*  
  
"RYOU!!!! GET THE PHONE!!!!"  
  
"I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW!!!!! YOU GET IT!!!!"  
  
"Grrrrrr......." was all Bakura could say as he got up to answer the phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Good morning sir!" the voice said on the other end. "Can I interest you in a credit card? It has 0.9%....."  
  
At this point Bakura had stopped listening. He was busy trying to remember what Ryou had called this type of person. Tele.... Telephone? No that wasn't it..... Telemarketer? Yes that was it.  
  
A person who calls up random people and trys to get them to buy their products. Oh, he was gonna have some fun with this.  
  
"...So sir are you interested?"  
  
"Yes. Yes I am. I would like a large soda, a number 5 and a clown with no head." (Ok I don't remember were that is from but I don't own it ok?)  
  
"What?" the man asked.  
  
"You heard me I would like a large soda, a number 5 and a clown with no head. And if it's not here in 15 minutes it had better be free!" he said and hung up the phone.  
  
"Are you tormenting telemarketers?" Ryou asked as he walked hurriedly into the kitchen.   
  
"No...... Well you can't prove it."  
  
"Well it least it will keep you from looking for explosives..... If I'm right they'll keep calling all day."  
  
"Great." Bakura said with an evil smirk. "Hey, aren't you gonna be late?"  
  
"OH CRAP!!!!" Ryou yelled and ran out the door.  
  
~1 hour or so later~  
  
*Ring, Ring* "Ugh...." Bakura had been getting into that soap opera he slowly answered the phone. "Hello?"  
  
"Hello sir." A woman said cheerfully on the other end. "I would like to know if you were interested in buying some magazine's from our company."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Oh yes sir! We have lots of magazines for men including Sports Images and...."  
  
"Excuse me." Bakura said as inspiration hit him. "But I am blind and unless you sell them in braille it will do me no good."  
  
"Ummmmmmmm....... I am so sorry sir." She said.  
  
"It's alright." he said trying not to crack up. "Goodbye."  
  
~Around 3 'o' clock~  
  
*Ring, Ring*  
  
*thinking* Here we go again.  
  
"Good after noon. Are you looking for a grave plot?"  
  
That caught Bakura completely off guard. "Wha...What?"  
  
"A grave plot. You know for when you die." *Thinking* Oh this is too good!!!  
  
*gasp* "I knew it! I knew it!"  
  
"Knew what?"  
  
"This is a sign!!! I'm supposed to commit suicide!!!"  
  
"What!?!?" the voice on the other end exclaimed. (Bakura couldn't tell if it was a guy or a girl.)  
  
"I was just thinking about it! This is a sign that I am supposed to do it!!!"  
  
"No sir!! That's not why I'm calling about!" Now Bakura had this person convinced that he was gonna kill himself for about 20,25 minutes. "Well, how much would a plot cost?"   
  
"Well our plots run anywhere from $3000 to $15000."  
  
"YOU SICKO!!!! YOU SPEND 20 MINUTES TRYING TO NOT GET ME TO KILL MY SELF AND THEN YOU TRY AND SELL ME A PLOT!!!!!" he yelled into the phone. *ahem* "And just for the record I'm not gonna kill my self your just an idiot." and hung up the phone.  
  
*SLAM* "Bakura!!! I'm home!!!" Ryou said walking into the house.  
  
"Great...."  
  
"How was your day? Entertain your self?"  
  
"Yeah I kept myself entertained myself." Bakura said and smirked walked back to his taped soaps.  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Starz- Telemarketers are evil....  
  
Bakura- Yes. Yes they are....  
  
Ryou- Aren't you over reacting a bit?  
  
Starz- No. No I'm not. Any way R&R PLEEZE! Next chappy should be the internet...or the likes.... 


	2. Makeing Food

Starz- I'm glad you guys liked it so much!  
  
Ryou- Why do you people do this?  
  
Bakura- Stupid telemarketers....  
  
Ryou- Are you still angry about that?  
  
Bakura- Yes. Yes I am.  
  
Starz- Oh, yeah! The clown with no head thing came from Invader Zim if any one was curious....  
  
Bakura- So what are we doing today?  
  
Starz- Today is.....*dramatic drum roll* the microwave!  
  
Ryou- Microwave? Why microwave?  
  
Starz- Because I have an idea...... *evil grin*  
  
Bakura- Ummmmmm..... Ok?  
  
Starz- I OWN NOTHING!!! Sorry....I know that puts a damper on some stalker plans.....  
  
""- talking  
  
//-Hikari to Yami  
  
/-Yami to Hikari  
  
~time  
  
*actions*  
  
^scene change^  
  
@flash back@  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A Day In the Life Of Bakura  
  
Chapter 2-   
  
"RYOU!!!!" Bakura yelled from his spot on the couch.   
  
*silence*   
  
"RYOU!!!" he yelled again. "I'M HUNGERY!!!! Where did he go?" Bakura asked himself and pulled himself up off the couch. He slowly waled into the kitchen and noticed a note on the table.  
  
"Bakura-  
  
You weren't listening to me when I told this to you earlier so I thought I'd leave you a note. I went to the arcade with the gang. We'll be back around 4ish. DON'T WRECK ANYTHING!!   
  
-Ryou"  
  
Bakura stared blankly at the piece of paper. He could barely read hieroglyphics what made Ryou believe he could read this?  
  
/Ryou?/  
  
//Wha? CRAP! You made me lose Bakura! What is it?//  
  
/I was trying to decipher your language but I got hungry. Where is the food?/  
  
//Well, there are some microwave able dinners in the freezer. The directions are on the back of the box. I'm sure you can figure it out....//  
  
Bakura dug around in the freezer for awhile until he found a box with a picture of a home cooked meal on the front. This looked like what Ryou was talking about. He turned it over and saw more of those funny squiggles Ryou called letters. He sat there for 20 minutes with a little chart Ryou made for him and he was to lazy to go find earlier.  
  
/Ryou?/  
  
//Wha?//  
  
/Which one is the microwave?/  
  
//The one on the end of the counter. And don't do that again.//  
  
/Whatever./  
  
He walked over to what Ryou had called the microwave. He stared at it for awhile trying to open it. After about 10 min. he figured out there was a lever. He placed the tray of food in it at pushed buttons till the beeped.   
  
~15 min. later~  
  
Bakura walked back into the kitchen. Now he was REALLY hungry and REALLY angry. He walked over to the microwave and opened it. The inside was covered with his exploded lunch.... Exploded? That gave him an idea....  
  
/Ryou? Where are the light bulbs?/  
  
//What? Why do you need a light bulb?//  
  
/The one in the kitchen is out..../  
  
//Top shelf in the pantry.// he answered.  
  
Bakura practically ran to the pantry and grabbed a light bulb. He put it in the microwave and pressed buttons until it beeped. He sat in front of the microwave and watched the lightbulb spin in circles. It started to light up and then exploded.   
  
"WHEEEEEE!!!!" Bakura yelled happily. "I wonder what else I can put in it...." he said and threw a fork in it. "I wonder what will happen with this one?"  
  
Again the microwave started spinning and beeping. The fork didn't seem to be change. Bakura moved closer to the microwave. Maybe he just couldn't see the change..... All the sudden the microwave started shaking. The whole thing exploded right into Bakura's face. He fell backwards into the table.   
  
"Owwwwww....." Bakura said rubbing the back of his head. He looked up into the smoldering hole in the wall that once was the microwave. "Oh, crap....." He said. Now what had Ryou told him not to do? Oh, yeah.....   
  
/You Ryou?/ he said thinking quickly.  
  
// Nooooooooooo!!!! I died again!!!! What do you want!?!?!//  
  
/Ummmmmm...... I'm going to see Marik. Uh, Yeah. I'll be back later./  
  
// What's wrong with you? What did you break?//  
  
/Nothing. Nothing. I'm leaving. Now./ He said and ran out of the house.  
  
^Arcade^  
  
"Hey guys?" Ryou said. "I think I need to go home. Now."  
  
"Why?" Yugi asked.   
  
"Yeah , you not having fun?" Joey added.  
  
"No, I just think Bakura has broken something..."  
  
"Oh, your overreacting!!!" Tea said.  
  
"Yeah, you need to relax Ryou." Tristan said hitting him on the back.   
  
"Come on Let's go play another round of DDR!!" Joey yelled and ran toward the machine.  
  
"Yeah!!!" everyone but Ryou yelled and ran after Joey.  
  
"They are probably right..." Ryou said to himself and followed.  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Starz- YAY!!! Explosions!!  
  
Bakura- *attempts to brush dust and stuff from his hair*  
  
Ryou- I'm gonna hafta buy a new microwave....  
  
Starz- I'm just getting started!  
  
Ryou- Great....  
  
Starz- R&R PLEEZE!!!! 


	3. Moving Pictures

Bakura- NO!!! TURN BACK FROM THIS INSANITY!!!  
  
Starz- *hits him on back of head* Shut up you baka....  
  
Ryou- If anyone should be yelling its me...  
  
Starz- Don't worry Ryou!!! It could be worse!!!  
  
Ryou- How?  
  
Starz- Ummm....well.... never mind in a few moments its gonna get worse....  
  
Bakura- This could be bad... Oh well! What do I get to destroy!?!?!?!  
  
Starz- This is your first encounter with the TV!!!  
  
Ryou- NOOOOO!!! Not the TV!!!!  
  
Starz- *snicker* Anyway, I own nothing but my wonderful idea!!!  
  
Ryou- *sob*  
  
""- talking  
  
//-Hikari to Yami  
  
/-Yami to Hikari  
  
~time  
  
*actions*  
  
^scene change^  
  
@flash back@  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A Day In the Life Of Bakura  
  
Chapter 3- Moving Pictures  
  
Bakura opened his eyes and was greeted by the morning sun. Or should I say afternoon sun? It was about 12:30 and Bakura was just now pulling himself out of bed. He slumped down the stair and tripped half way there. *thud thud thud* Ryou came running out of the living room.   
  
"OH MY GOD!!! Bakura!!! Are you ok?" he asked worriedly.  
  
"I am fine." Bakura said lifting himself off the floor and dusting himself off. He took two steps toward the kitchen and fell on his face again.  
  
"I knew you weren't ok!!!"Ryou exclaimed rushing over to Bakura's side. "Looks like you sprained your ankle.... You ain't going to walk on that for awhile..."   
  
"But....!!! I was gonna go to the mall and terrorize innocents!!!!"  
  
"No terrorizing today!!!" Ryou scolded and help Bakura to the couch. "Here, you watch T.V. I'll be back to check on you." And handed Bakura the remote as he left.   
  
Bakura stared at the long black thing Ryou had handed him. It was cover with buttons... He began randomly pressing them until he hit one that cause the box in the corner to flash on.  
  
"AIEE!!!" he exclaimed as he fell off the couch. Which, in turn, caused Ryou to come running in carrying a pot of what smelled like Ramen.   
  
"What happened!?!?!" he exclaimed.   
  
"I... I made the magic box turn on!!!" Bakura said proudly.   
  
"That is the T.V. Bakura." Ryou explained. "You can watch it." he picked the pot of Ramen back up and carried it back into the kitchen.   
  
Bakura turned his attention back to the T.V. as he stared at it he realized the people were moving. "My Ra... THEY'RE MOVING PICTURES!!!"   
  
"What are you yelling about!?!?!" Ryou called out from the kitchen.   
  
"Nothing" he answered loudly ".... foolish mortal." he added under his breath. He dragged himself up and off the couch and closer to the T.V.  
  
"And that was Mary Sue and Ricky. Mary Sue just proved that the father of her three children was Ricky. He was just hauled away to pay back child support...." the man in the moving picture said. "Now please welcome Bubba and his fiancee Lucy. Now Bubba you have something to tell Lucy, correct?"  
  
A fat man who seemed like he had never used a shower or combed his hair before answered *snort* " Yes, yes I do Jerry." he said and turned to a girl with bleach blonde hair who Bakura thought must be Lucy. "Me and your best friend have been fooling around behind your back."  
  
"YOU WHAT!?!?!?" Lucy screeched. "I SHOULD KILL YOU!!! YOU F*beep* B*beep*!!!!"  
  
"Calm down baby!" Bubba said while scratching himself.   
  
"WHERE IS SHE!?!?!?!" Lucy screamed some more. "BRING HER OUT HERE!!!"  
  
"You heard the lady folks. Here she is, Lucy's childhood friend Sarah." The audience booed as a woman wearing practically no clothing and seemed ready to snap in half on account of her large breasts walked unto the stage. She ran over and kissed Bubba.   
  
"YOU B*beep*!!!! I'LL F*beep* KILL YOU!!!!" the woman called Lucy screamed and grabbed a chair.  
  
"HIT HER WITH THE CHAIR!!!" Bakura was screaming. *WHACK* "YES!!!!"  
  
Ryou came running back in. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"NOW QUICK SEND HER TO THE SHADOW REALM!!!!!" Bakura screeched at the T.V.  
  
Ryou calmly grabbed the remote and changed the channel to Discovery. "That was a little to much stimulation for you I think..."  
  
"Where did they go?" Bakura said tapping the screen.  
  
"I changed the channel. Hey, I think they're talking about Egypt. You should find that interesting. Now let me finish lunch."  
  
"... Today we are going to talk about how ancient tomb robbers got into the well protected and supposedly cursed tombs."  
  
"It's about time someone gave us credit!!" Bakura said talking to the announcer. "After all they thought we were unbelievably stupid and couldn't use shadow magic..."  
  
"... It is believed that most tomb robbers were believed to mainly steal for malicious intent rather than the need of wealth. We have decided to re-enact how a tomb raid would have gone."  
  
"Malicious intent?" Bakura asked the narrator. "We did it for the treasure. I have no idea what you are talking about."   
  
The screen flashed to what looked liked night time in Egypt. A small group of people ran across the sand towards a pyramid and took a stick with a flattened end and stuck it into the sealed door.   
  
"THAT'S NOT HOW WE DID IT AT ALL!!!! WE USED SHADOW MAGIC!!!!"  
  
The re-enactment continued as the actors ran through the tomb searching for treasure and yelling in a made up language. As they finished the narrator came back onto the screen.   
  
"Most archeologists find it amazing that more tomb robbers were not killed by traps in tombs."  
  
"ARE YOU CALLING ME STUPID!?!?!?" Bakura yelled at the screen.   
  
"It is also believed that..." the narrator continued right along.  
  
"I AM TALKING TO YOU!!!!"  
  
"..tomb robbers..."  
  
"Bakura who are you talking to?" Ryou said as he walked in with two bowls of Ramen.  
  
"I'LL KILL YOU!!!!" Bakura yelled and blasted the T.V. to bits. A flash of purple light flashed and some small pieces that were left burst into flames. Ryou was so surprised he threw his arms into the air and throwing the Ramen onto the walls behind him. Bakura stood triumphantly over the remains of the T.V. "Look Ryou! I killed the evil man inside the T.V.!!!  
  
"You... You IDIOT!!!!" Ryou yelled.  
  
"Wha?"  
  
"You killed my T.V.!!!" Ryou said dropping to the floor next to it.  
  
"No. Just the man in side of it."  
  
"He wasn't really there!!! He was not in Egypt!! He was probably in his plush house in Hollywood!!!"  
  
"I don't get it...." Bakura said as Ryou caressed a piece of the plastic to his face.  
  
"Just leave me to mourn." Ryou said. Bakura took his cue and limped back to his soul room.   
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Starz- I'm sorry Ryou....  
  
Ryou- MY T.V.!!!!  
  
Bakura- It blew up well. ^^  
  
Starz- Yes that it did.  
  
Ryou- My T.V.!!!!! *sob*  
  
Bakura- R&R PLEEZE!!!  
  
Ryou- *cries* 


	4. Why Dose My Nose Itch?

Starz- Hello everyone!  
  
Bakura- Welcome Back!  
  
Ryou- RUN!! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!  
  
Starz- That was mean Ryou...  
  
Bakura- *tsk tsk* For shame, hikari.  
  
Ryou- YOU KEEP BLOWING MY STUFF UP!!!!  
  
Starz- Good point...  
  
Bakura- Who cares!?!?! What's today?!?!?!  
  
Starz- I'm thinking because I keep blowing up precious things of Ryou's..... that it's Bakura's turn for something bad!!!  
  
Ryou- Really???  
  
Bakura- How could you!?!?!  
  
Ryou- What is it???  
  
Starz- Bakura VS. Modern Sickness(I'm not sure what yet.....It'll just be a mixture of some!)!!!  
  
Ryou- *snickers at Bakura* Starzpen owns nothing but the idea.  
  
""- talking  
  
//-Hikari to Yami  
  
/-Yami to Hikari  
  
~time  
  
*actions*  
  
^scene change^  
  
@flash back@  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A Day In the Life Of Bakura  
  
Chapter 4- Why Dose My Nose Itch?  
  
It was a miracle. Simply a miracle. Ryou stood in awe as Bakura came downstairs and into the kitchen fully dressed and BEFORE Ryou had to leave for school!!!! And he didn't even yell at him!!! He didn't look quite awake yet, but he was up and moving and that's what counted. Bakura sat opposite Ryou scratching his nose. "Ryou?" he asked still half asleep.  
  
"Yes?" he answered knowing there had to be a reason for this early rising.  
  
"Why dose my nose itch?" he asked before sneezing.  
  
"Because you had to sneeze obviously..." Ryou said trying not to laugh at the surprised look on Bakura's face when he sneezed.  
  
"Oh, Ra.... MY BRAIN IS LEAKING OUT!!!!" he yelled running over to the counter and grabbing a towel which he held tightly under his nose.   
  
"No! Your brain isn't leaking out!!!!" Ryou exclaimed trying to calm the ancient spirit down.  
  
"Then what is this!?!?!" he said holding his hand that was covered with green looking slim on it in Ryou's face.   
  
"That's.... that's snot Bakura."  
  
"Snot?" He said looking at it. "Your sure it's not brains??"   
  
"Yes. Yes! Now wash it off it's disgusting!!!" Ryou said shoving his hands under the kitchen faucet. Again a miracle. Bakura did exactly as he was told. Ryou was speechless.  
  
"All done." Bakura said turning away from the sink holding up his hands showing they were clean.... or to prove he hadn't stolen anything Ryou wasn't sure what he was thinking right now. It wasn't until then that he noticed Bakura's face was very red.   
  
"Are you ok?" he asked.   
  
"I dunno." he said blinking like mad. "By Ra! Now my eyes itch!!!!" he said rubbing his eyes like crazy.  
  
"Come with me." Ryou said grabbing Bakura's arm and dragged him into the bathroom. Ryou began digging through the medicine cabinet, earning him some strange looks from Bakura between eye rubs.  
  
"What are you *rub rub* doing?" he asked.  
  
"Looking for the...ah, here it is!" he said turning and holding a long plastic thing with a metal tip. "Put this under your tongue."  
  
"What is it?" Bakura asked eyeing it suspiciously from all angles.   
  
"It's a thermometer." Ryou answered walking out of the bathroom. "I'm gonna call in sick to school today cause you seem really sick." And walked off to find the phone.  
  
"Wait!" Bakura called out half-heartedly. "Now what do I do with it?" He look at it closely maybe....  
  
^Living Room on the Phone^   
  
"Yes..*cough cough* I can't come into today*sniff*.... Alright....Thank you." he said hanging up the phone. "Well that was easy." And walked into the bathroom to find Bakura with a thermometer sticking out of his nose. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!" he exclaimed in shock.  
  
"I'm... *cough, cough* using the thermometer." he answered. "The green stuff came from here so I thought that's where it went...."  
  
"It goes in your mouth!!!" Bakura said disinfecting it and shoving it in the yami's mouth. "Now don't talk until it beeps." he said and lead Bakura upstairs to his bedroom. "Get comfy. Your not going anywhere for a few days." Bakura shot him a look of anger at the fact that he couldn't leave as the thermometer went off.   
  
"Here!" bakura said practically throwing it at Ryou. "Take the bloody thing back!! And what do you mean I can't leave!?!?!"  
  
"Well, your temperature is 101.5. Is that normal for a spirit?" Ryou said talking mostly to himself now.   
  
"Are you *cough cough* listening?" Bakura asked as Ryou turned on heel and walked out of the room.  
  
Bakura curled into a ball on his bed. It was very cold. He could hear his hikari rummaging through the bathroom. Suddenly he was very hot. So he threw off his covers and sprawled out over the bed. After a few moments he was extremely cold again. This proceeded for the next 20 minutes before Ryou walked back in with a small vile of what Bakura hoped was a potion of some form.  
  
"Here ya go Bakura!" he said triumphantly. "I found the Night Quill!"  
  
"Night Quill? *Achoo*" he asked eyeing it suspiciously. "What is it?"  
  
"It should help with your fever." he said "And your sickness over all."   
  
"So... It's a magic potion?"  
  
"Well, ummmm.... If that'll make you take it sure!" Ryou said smiling as Bakura downed the medicine.  
  
"This is the most disgusting thing I have EVER drank!!!" he exclaimed gagging on the foul thing.  
  
"Well, of course it's nasty. It's so little kids don't drink too much and get worse or die." Ryou explained calmly as Bakura went through another hot to cold change.  
  
"So you fed me poison!?!?!"  
  
"No! No! It's not poison!"  
  
"YOUR TRYING TO KILL ME!!!"   
  
"No! Of course I'm not!" Ryou said calming Bakura a bit while thinking 'Well, not at the moment...' and smiled kindly at Bakura. "Don't worry about it. Go back to sleep and you'll be fine when you get up." As soon as he said that the Night-Quill took affect and Bakura went down like a sack of bricks...  
  
~2 hours later~  
  
Bakura rolled over in the bed. He had slept for awhile. He remembered Ryou coming in with the therma-thing and leaving again. He slowly opened his eyes and scanned the room. He came face to face with Yami. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed pressing his back up against the wall.   
  
"Hello to you too, baka tomb robber." Yami said smiling slyly at him.  
  
"W-What are you doing HERE!?!?" Bakura asked.   
  
"Well, I dunno. This is YOUR hallucination, not mine."  
  
"Hallucination? Your not really here?"   
  
"Nope. Or maybe I am? All I know is I'm here to make your life miserable."   
  
"Well, you do that all the time..."  
  
"Good point."  
  
At that moment Bakura noticed the magic nasty tasting potion on the night stand. Yami could do anything to him if he were asleep... or dead. So what did he do? He downed a whole bottle of Night-Quill in one gulp.   
  
"I don't think that was a good idea...." Yami said.  
  
"I dunno tasted pretty good to me..."  
  
"Well, you ARE an idiot..."  
  
"What was that!?!?!"   
  
"You heard me, baka tomb robber!!!"  
  
"I am so kicking your ass!!!!!"  
  
~3 'o' clock~ ^In the kitchen^  
  
"We were worried about you Ryou!" Tea said. "I mean you were fine yesterday..."  
  
"What's wrong with skipping a day guys?" Tristan asked jokingly.  
  
"I told you guys, I'm fine it's Bakura that's sick..."  
  
"Well, should we go visit him???" Yugi asked.  
  
"I dunno hikari. He doesn't like us when he's not sick." Yami said.  
  
"YOU!?!?!" Bakura screeched from the door way that he had just appeared at. "I'LL KILL YOU SO I CAN SLEEP!!!!"   
  
"Bakura!?!?!" Ryou exclaimed as Bakura launched himself at Yami yelling incoherent words as Joey and Tristan pulled him off of the passed out pharaoh. "What's wrong with you!?!?!"  
  
"That bastard took the last bottle of Night-Quill!!!"  
  
"What is he talking about Ryou?" Tea asked.  
  
"I don't know.... Bakura there is more in the cabinet...."  
  
"I drank those."  
  
"All of them!?!?!" Ryou exclaimed.  
  
"Yes." Bakura answered calmly.   
  
"THAT WAS 7 BOTTLES!!!"  
  
"I don't think it's safe to drink that much Night-Quill...." Joey said.  
  
"You'll all pay.... BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Bakura yelled freeing himself from Joey and Tristan's grip and throwing random things at the group before passing out in the middle of the kitchen.  
  
"Will... will he be alright?" Tea asked from her hiding place behind Yami's passed out form.   
  
"Ummmmm.... good question...." Joey said.  
  
"I'm not going any where near him for a few hours..." Ryou said staring wide eyed at Bakura's sleeping body.  
  
"Good plan man." Tristan said.   
  
"I think we should leave..." Yugi said.   
  
"That would be wise...." Ryou said as Tristan and Joey hauled Yami out of the house.  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Starz-*phew* That took forever!!!!  
  
Ryou- Yeah it did... but now it's done!!!!  
  
Starz- Good point!!!  
  
Bakura- MORE NIGHT-QUILL!!!!!  
  
Ryou- You had to make him addicted to Night-Quill didn't you?  
  
Starz- Yup.^^  
  
Ryou- *sigh*  
  
Bakura- ight-Quill!!...I mean R&R please!!!! 


	5. The List of DOOM!

Starz- I return from my quiet little corner!!!!  
  
Ryou- Wheeee!!! Nothing was destroyed last time!!!!  
  
Bakura- *sneeze* Shuddup.... Hey got any Night-Quill?  
  
Starz & Ryou- NO!!!  
  
Bakura- Just asking......Geeze.  
  
Starz- Anyway, today's trial is the chore list!  
  
Ryou- Oh, God....  
  
Bakura- The what?  
  
Starz- I OWN NOTHING!!!!!!  
  
Bakura- FINE IGNORE ME!!!!  
  
Starz- I WILL!!!!  
  
Ryou- *sigh*  
  
""- talking  
  
//-Hikari to Yami  
  
/-Yami to Hikari  
  
~time  
  
*actions*  
  
^scene change^  
  
@flash back@  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A Day In the Life Of Bakura  
  
Chapter 5- A List of DOOM!  
  
Ryou stared sadly down at the small piece of paper laying on the kitchen table.   
  
"Tell me what it is again!?!?" Bakura exclaimed happily as he rocked back in forth in his chair across form Ryou.  
  
"Ugh.... It's a chore list." he said as he examined it again.  
  
"And what dose that mean!?!?" he said practically bouncing up and down.   
  
"It's a list of thing I have to do around the house."  
  
"Why did you get a list? You've never gotten a list before!"  
  
"Well usually it means I'm in trouble. I assume it's punishment for destroying the T.V.... Which was you." Ryou said as he glare across the table.   
  
"I GOT YOU IN TROUBLE!!!!" Bakura yelled gleefully before falling out of his chair.  
  
" Well, I feel better now." Ryou said getting up and stepping over the twitching Bakura. "Come on. You got me into this mess and now your gonna help."  
  
"Make me." Bakura said from the floor.  
  
"I know where the Night-Quill is." Ryou responded teasingly.  
  
"Alright! Alright! I'll help!" he yelled as he bounded into the living room after Ryou.  
  
"O.K. first we have to vacuum."  
  
"Vac-uum?" Bakura asked puzzled by the large black thing with a long tube coming off of one side.  
  
"Yes, vacuum." Ryou said as he plugged it in. " It pulls dirt out of the carpet."  
  
"Dirt? In Egypt the carpets WERE dirt...."  
  
"Well in this day and age it's a bad thing." Ryou said as he flipped the switch causing the black thing to make loud noises.  
  
"GAH!!!" Bakura exclaimed in shock. "Your killing it hikari!!!" he yelled as he leaned in to get a closer look at it.   
  
"Bakura!!! NO!!!" Ryou yelled as his yami leaned close to the hose getting his hair caught in it.  
  
"AAAAAAA!!!! It's trying to eat me!!!!!" Bakura yelled as he ran in circles around the room dragging the vacuum cleaner behind him.  
  
~20 minutes later~  
  
Bakura stared hatefully at the beast that had tried to eat his hair. Ryou picked up the list from the floor where he had dropped it as he chased him down. "Alright then, we 'finished' vacuuming..."  
  
"YOU MEAN VACUUMING MY HAIR!!!!!" Bakura yelled.  
  
"Yes. That's what I meant." Ryou said rolling his eyes. "Anyway, let's try dusting that's an easy one."  
  
"What is it?" Bakura asked suspiciously. "Is it going to eat my hair too?"   
  
"No it's not." Ryou said handing Bakura a feather duster. "Here."  
  
"What? Did you kill a bird?" Bakura asked with a confused look on his face.  
  
"No. It's a duster, stupid. You brush it over things and it takes the dust off. Like this." Ryou explained as he dusted a shelf behind him. "See not hard at all."  
  
"I think I can handle that hikari." Bakura said and began dusting the shelf above the one Ryou had done.   
  
"Very good." Ryou commented from where he watched.  
  
"I'm not THAT stupid..." Bakura started to say as the shelf he was dusting fell on his foot. "Ra! That hurt!!" he said hopping around holding his foot.  
  
"Ok, dusting done....*sigh*" Ryou said sarcastically before checking it off the list.  
  
"Hikari! That really hurt!!!" Bakura whined.  
  
"You big baby! What do you think Yami would do if he saw you like this?"  
  
Bakura's face immediately became serious. "He never would. And he'll never hear about it, right?"  
  
"Right, right." Ryou said mentally making a note to tell everyone about it later. "Well, last for today is to mow the lawn."  
  
"Lawn?" Bakura said immediately dropping the tough guy act. "You mean outside right?"   
  
"As you say sometimes 'By Ra! Your not as stupid as I thought.'"  
  
^Outside^  
  
Ryou pushed the green lawn mower out of the garage as Bakura watched with interest. "It's got blades on it." he said with a smile.  
  
"I didn't expect you to miss that one..." Ryou said rolling his eyes.   
  
  
  
"Can I try it?" Bakura asked with a evil glint in his eyes.  
  
"Fine. Just try a section of the lawn over there." he said pointing at a section along the sidewalk.   
  
"Alright, alright. Just let me do it!" Bakura said as Ryou started it up. He pushed it along the path that Ryou had pointed out as a group of little children ran by yelling. Bakura being the self-centered person he is though they were yelling and him. And his temper got the better of him and he began chasing them down the sidewalk with the lawn mower.  
  
"BAKURA!!! COME BACK!!!!" Ryou yelled as he noticed him and ran after.  
  
~15 minutes later~  
  
"LET ME GO!!!" Bakura raged.  
  
"NO!!!" Ryou yelled back.  
  
"Hikari.... I wont hurt them. Much. I'll only RIP THERE THROATS OUT!!!!"   
  
Ryou managed to throw Bakura onto the couch. "LISTEN TO ME!?!?!" he yelled. "You will sit here on the couch until I finish mowing the lawn." he hissed angrily. "Understand?"  
  
"S...sure." Bakura said startled by his hikari's behavior. Ryou glared at him over his shoulder before walking back outside to finish the lawn. He glanced around the room and noticed the vacuum in the corner of the room. It seemed to be mocking him from its little sanctuary. "Mock me will you???"  
  
~20 minutes later~   
  
Ryou walked back into the house wiping sweat from his eyes. As his arm pulled away from his face the sight that greeted him sent a chill down his spine. Bakura was sitting on the couch surrounded by utter destruction. It was as if a tornado went through his living room. He noticed pieces of the vacuum in his hair.  
  
"I didn't do it!!!" Bakura yelled disappearing into his soul roomed followed by the sound of Ryou angerly yelling at him.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Starz- YAY! It's done!!  
  
Ryou- My HOUSE!!!!  
  
Bakura- Hehehehe!!! I got to destroy things!!!!  
  
Ryou- Why do you keep doing that!?!?  
  
Starz- 'Cause I can! R&R PLEEZE!!! 


	6. click click click

Starz- Awwww... you all came back!  
  
Ryou- Why??? *sobs*  
  
Bakura- Come now hikari, it's not that bad....  
  
Ryou- QUIET YOU!!!   
  
Starz- Geeze ...destroy someone's home once and they get a bit pissed....  
  
Bakura- Really! So what is up for today's round of destruction?  
  
Starz- Sorry Ryou, but today is the computer.  
  
Ryou- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  
  
Starz- More specifically Bakura is gonna learn to IM! FUN STUFF!  
  
Ryou- ...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Bakura- Take a breath hikari....  
  
""- talking  
  
//-Hikari to Yami  
  
/-Yami to Hikari  
  
~time  
  
*actions*  
  
^scene change^  
  
@flash back@  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A Day In the Life Of Bakura  
  
Chapter 6- *click click click*  
  
Bakura stared at the unblinking face of his hikari's face, that was eerily lite by a glowing square.  
  
"Ryou?" Bakura said trying to communicate. "Ryou?..... My Ra... It's sucked his brain out... Wait! If he dies I DIE!!!" He realized before he sprinted across the room and dived on him.   
  
"WHAT IN THE HELL!! Bakura!!! What are you doing!?!?!" Ryou yelled.  
  
"It was sucking your brain out!! I saw it! I SAVED you!!!" Bakura explained.  
  
"It was NOT sucking my brain out." Ryou said pushing him off and picking his chair up. "I was chatting with some people online."  
  
"..." Bakura stood there just giving Ryou a blank look. "In plain English please?"   
  
Ryou thought about how to say it for a second before deciding. "I was typing out what I wanted to say at Yugi over the computer while he did the same at his house."  
  
"Ok..... What's typing?" Bakura asked generally confused.  
  
"Here look." Ryou said holding up the keyboard. "See each key has a letter on it. When you hit it, it shows up on the screen. See." He said as he demonstrated.  
  
"Wow.... I wanna try." Bakura said looking like a kid who's Christmas came early.   
  
"Ok. But I'm gonna sit right here...." Ryou said as he pulled up a chair.  
  
Bakura grinned happily as he jabbed at the keyboard and watched the symbols appear in the box that Ryou said was Yugi's.   
  
xTombRobberx- helo stupd faroh.  
  
DarkMagician1- Ryou? You ok?  
  
xTombRobberx- dnt tmpt me faroh  
  
DarkMagician1- Ummmmmm.... r...ight this isn't Ryou is it?  
  
xTombRobberx- gud job stupd  
  
DarkMagician1- Then who is it?  
  
xTombRobberx- bakura  
  
DarkMagician1- hnewaoinhiwhngtowihntgewioaph  
  
Bakura squinted at the screen. "What dose that say hikari?" Ryou leaned over and glanced at the screen.   
  
"It doesn't say anything. I looks like someone dropped the keyboard...." All of the sudden the window blinked. "He's back."  
  
DarkMagician1- you asshole bakura!!!   
  
"Are you sure that's Yugi?" Bakura asked with a smirk across his lips.   
  
"I'd most likely say Yami noticed who he was talking too. See the typing's different."   
  
"Whatever..." Bakura said before typing a response.  
  
xTombRobberx- thre is the faro himself  
  
DarkMagician1- what do you want with my hikari?  
  
xTombRobberx- wht? Cnt I talc to hm?  
  
DarkMagician1- NO ITS NOT! your up to something....  
  
xTombRobberx- I swr I wsnt....  
  
DarkMagician1- LYING TOMB ROBBER!!!  
  
xTombRobberx- BASTARD PHARAOH!!!  
  
Ryou who had zoned out for a few moments looked over at Bakura as he became more and more pissed. He began using his index finger to jab at the keyboard with increasing violence. He looked up at the dialog bog at the ever lengthing list of insults.  
  
ASSHOLE!  
  
JACKASS!  
  
LEAVE ME ALONE I DONT TALK TO DEFORMED PEOPLE!  
  
The list went on and on.... Ryou was starting to fear his yami. He was glaring at the screen with that 'look' he get's so times. Ryou had never been able to describe it and probably never would but it didn't make it any less menacing.  
  
"Bakura... maybe you should....ummm....go do something and let me talk to Yugi again..." he said timidly. And Bakura did what he did best. He ignored him.   
  
He was working himself into a fury over a IM conversation. All the sudden something Yami said made Bakura fly into a rage and he brought his hand crashing down through the keyboard and the front to the desk it was resting on. Ryou gaped as Bakura continued to type on the broken board cussing under his breath that it didn't work. Ryou decoded to wasn't to safe in there so he slowly got up and walked out of the room. He settled unto the couch and sat there watching T.V.... until the unsettling sound of something exploding caused him to go into mourning...again. While Bakura continued to type on the broken keyboard.  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Starz- Well? You likes?  
  
Ryou- Not the computer.... *sob*  
  
Bakura- *pounding on a broken keyboard*  
  
Starz- *sigh* R&R PLEEZE!!! 


End file.
